📮 Not From Round Here by Bradley Chermside (.ePUB)

“I stuck a hair dryer on me bunion to stretch me skin out. Didn’t bloomin’ work.” So begins Brad’s uproarious new life as an Essex native who’s yanked from living his pipe dream in the Spanish sunshine to the grey and wet northwest of England. In this comedy memoir, Brad is catapulted to a strange land in his homeland where complete strangers tell him about their bunions and insist on showing him the holes “they burned” in the crotch of their swimming trunks. It’s a land of confusion where everything he thought true comes into question: bread rolls are now called, “barms"; tea is something you eat not drink; almond milk is unheard of because, “yer don't get teats on an almond, stupid!” It’s a land where Brad is so cold that he’s wearing more coats than a nightclub cloakroom can handle while the locals casually stroll around in their beachwear. Will fish out of water Brad sink or swim as he adapts to the culture shock of being a soft southerner up north? One thing’s for sure, you’re in for a pant-pissing, rollercoaster ride of mishaps, mayhem, and meat pies.

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